I like hospitals

Sorry for not posting. I have been in and out of the hospitals for a bit. My external drain is causing problems, but I feel that for now it is sorted out.

Doctors are still not sure if the cancer is back. I have had CT, MRI, PET scans, swabs taken of the bile duct and bloodwork. Everything comes back with mixed results and 2 interpretations. Liver specialists in NC, Scotland and Sweden are all stumped as what is going on. I do have to be difficult dont I?

I have met with the liver team in Gothenburg and we had a wonderful discussion. Bad news is that one of my lymph nodes doesnt look normal, which could be a result of anything. Anyway, Dr. Rizell was great. I may be back on the transplant list, but he wants more tests and information. I will head back to Gothanburg soon for a tissue sample of the bile duct and possibly of the lymph node as well. He seemed more interested in the bile duct. I asked him about oncologists as I completely hate and do not trust mine and he was all about getting me a new one. I told him I am 33 and dont want someone to sit around and follow statistics because 1) the statiscts arent that good and 2) there are no statistics that are relevant to a 33 yr old who had a liver resection. He agreed and said that he would want to go experimental on me. Go ahead and do the standard chemos, but use "blockers" and other things that appear to be helpful (even if it is only 5%) in other cancers. I have found the doctor what will fight the fight with me and all I can say is it feels wonderful. The only way I can describe it is like when I met Professor Garden in Edinburgh (the surgon who removed the 1st tumor). I felt so comfortable and I knew that everything that could be done was going to be done...complete trust. I feel that way about Dr. Rizell.

Prof. Garden has emailed me about the scans and reports I sent him. He says that there is evidence there had been a stone, but the area is still worrying. I asked if he thought he could remove the tumor and he avoided the question (as did Dr. Rizell!-they are frustratingly good at it) The interesting comment he made was that twice he has gone in for a second surgery. Once he could do nothing because the cancer had spread far beyond what the imaging had shown. Once he did nothing because it wasnt cancer at all. Even the damn anecdotes show 2 possible outcomes!

Besides from the whole cancer thing, I am trying to live my life as normally as possible. Hans and I are looking to purchase a newer car and so we have been out test driving. Almost anything is better than our 1984 Opel Asconda. I am also progressing in my Swedish class. I missed my test twice because of being in the hospital. The third time I signed up to take the test, I got sick again and was back in the hospital. Luckily, my doctor gave me a two hour pass so I could take a taxi to school and sit the exam. Everyone was laughing at me for doing it, but I am so happy as I passed with 89% and am now in the higher level class. It all worked out which is great.